Blinded

Life Church in OKC just did a series called Can You See Him. The point of this series was to get you to look back at the low times in your life and see God's presence in those times. When we are going through those times, it is hard for us to see His hands because we are blinded by the suck (for lack of better words). In relation to my life so far, this theory holds true. I have gone through different struggles or lulls over past years, and through each and every one, I can look back and see how it was or has been resolved with a positive effect on my life. The outcome of some of these instances may not be how I initially planned or I might have been better off prior to the instance, but some how or another, it left an influence on my life that has either taught me a lesson or made me a better person. For some reason, I feel like I am currently in one of these times. I can feel God at work in my life, but I have no visual of Him. I know that in the future I will look back in awe of the wonders God was doing in my life, but right now, I am trying to figure out what He is trying to do. Almost every time I shut my eyes, I plead for guidance and strength, but it seems like all I receive is more confusion and frustration. I really don't have anything that I can complain about, but there is something inside of me that does not feel normal. There are millions of people in this world that would love to trade places with me, and yet, I can't find contempt in this situation. I want to do more, but I feel dormant. I feel helpless, almost useless. I want to be used; I'm tired of my own complacency. I can do more; I want to help. Something needs to change, but what?