Gratitudes and Apologies

Dear {Expletive} Who Broke In My Car,

You're welcome. You're welcome that I left my car unlocked for you last night. That stems from growing up in Gunter, Texas. I know you've never heard of it. It's not big enough to know about; that's why I developed the habit of never locking my car. You're welcome that I spent the weekend in Gunter and freshened my memory of that habit. You're welcome that I left my wallet in my car last night. That was due to me going to a drive through last night. Instead of trying to awkwardly put my wallet into my back pocket while sitting down, I just threw it in the center console and left it for you. You are welcome that while you were taking my wallet out of the console, you noticed my iPod. I left my iPod in my car because I only listened to it when I worked out, so there was no reason to ever take it in the house. You are welcome that next to my wallet and my iPod was my camera. You're also welcome that I went ahead and filled up the memory card for you with 4th of July pictures from the weekend. It was in my console because I travel all the time. If I ever took it out, there was always the possibility that I would have forgotten to pack it for a trip.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't leave you more money in my wallet. Last night, I tipped in cash so instead of $4 there was only $2. I should have left a note on my window that let you know that I only use debit/credit cards. I'm also sorry that none of those debit or credit cards work anymore. I also want to apologize for not leaving my iPod dock in my car. I'm sorry that I ran down the battery on my camera this weekend and left the charger in my desk at work. If I had known you were coming, I would have just gone ahead and taken all those out of my car to save you the frustrations of having to go to the store and buy all those new chords for my appliances with your own money; we need to work on our communication skills.

Thank you. Thank you for not taking my sunglasses that were sitting in the cup holder. Thank you for not taking any of my checkbooks that were in the glove compartment that you went through. Thank you for not taking my passport or my social security card that was left so that I could renew my drivers license. Thank you for not taking any of the gift cards that were next to my wallet, iPod, and camera. Thank you for not getting in my trunk and taking my golf clubs. Thank you for checking to see if my car was unlocked before you broke a window.

Lastly, thank you for teaching me a lesson. No hard feelings.

Love always,
Chad Davis